My longest grudge? It was Christmas time not so long ago and I was home from school until the New Year. I had plans to hang out with all of my closest friends. One in particular was like the sister I never had. My mom used to babysit her before I came along (she loved to tell the story about how she went through the “jealous of the new baby” stage). She was the friend that you took baths with and stayed up all night playing Barbies with as a kid, sang karaoke with, and told ALL of your secrets to. The kind that you can not talk to for a month and when you do talk it’s like you didn’t miss a beat in each other’s lives. She was THAT friend.
We had plans for a girl’s night out. I waited on her to come pick me up and she never showed. We made plans again, and she didn’t show. I tried calling her a couple of times and each time I got her voicemail. By the time she called back I was packing up to go back to school and she had some flimsy excuse as to why she didn’t show up or answer her phone.
She said she had a gift for me and that she was going to drop it off at my house before I left. I told her I had one for her too, but I was leaving early the next morning. She could drop the gift off at my house later and give it to my dad and she could get hers too. She agreed. Needless to say that didn’t happen either. She had another lame excuse. She assured me that she’d come by next time. My dad said he had things to do, but would wait around a little bit for her. Once again, she didn’t show.
I was extremely upset. The next day as I walked up and down the aisles of a grocery store, my phone rang. It was her. She said that she didn’t show up because she really just didn’t feel like driving anywhere. Minutes later, forgetting her first alibi, she said she’d gone out with her other friends. I guess she could detect the anger and annoyance in my voice, because she asked what was wrong. In all of our nearly 20 years of friendship, we had only had 2 arguments. We never fought, but this one was one to remember. I was practically yelling at my phone in the middle of the store telling her just how much I thought she’d been inconsiderate for other people’s time and how annoyed I was at her unreliability.
The type A personality wasn’t yelling back at me or trying to curse me out in defense. Surprisingly, she got emotional and talked about how stressed she’d been and how everyone has been coming down hard on her lately and saying she was “f***ing up.” As mad as I was, it’s just in my nature to try to be understanding. I listened to her ramble on and tried to calm her down though I was at my boiling point. She offered to mail the gift to me. At this point I didn’t want it anymore. Unbelieving that she’d find the will to even drive to the post office, I told her I’d text my address to get her off the phone. I didn’t text, email, or call her after that conversation. My dad dropped her gift off at her mom’s house. I emailed her asking if she got the gift and received no response. And that was it, my last conversation/correspondence with her.
I felt like I’d lost one of my closest friends… over some dumb s***. Not only was I furious at her for the whole situation, but I was mad that she didn’t even try to save a friendship with one of her oldest and closest friends. Then out of the blue SIX months later she leaves a message on my facebook wall saying she missed me, how was I and when was I coming back home? It was as if she completely forgot about what happened. I guess it wasn’t as big of a deal to her as it was to me. To her, it was just another day in our friendship. And all this time, I’ve been playing along.